March 27, 2004

David's Jade Palace: Resquiescat In Pace

What was probably the best Chinese restaurant in Westchester County, David's Jade Palace, has apparently closed due to a worker's strike and a bunch of complaints about working conditions and stuff. It's saddening, because their Chinese food was really damn good.

Posted by Andre at 03:17 PM | Comments (4)

March 23, 2004

Cynicism Personified Update

To: H.

I'm having a hard time writing this note to you. We had some good times together. Your $5/month price tag was pretty cheap, but you were good, despite your unannounced days when you were missing and your unprofessionalism. Okay, so the missing days were pretty frequent. But I always felt my stuff was reasonably safe* with you. I just think we weren't meant for each other. This copyright thing was just about the last straw in our already strained relationship.

That's it. It's over.

I've found another. She's $1.67 less per month than you ever were, and she even claims to have unlimited, er, transfer.


[Main character puts down pen, stops talking to himself, and bursts out crying.]


Ladies, gentlemen, and fellow cynics,

I have come here tonight to talk to you about a website I'm sure you've all heard of. Or maybe not, but it's clearly an evildoer regime. Why, just recently, their main webpage changed to the cryptic statement, "This website has been removed due to copyright violations." We** have called them, emailed them, and poked monitors displaying their website with sticks, with no effect whatsoever. Well, okay, we made holes in the monitors. But this was not the intended effect.

Hosting321, if you do not let Cynical Inspectors contact you in the next 24 hours, we will declare war***.

The Cynical people will not tolerate this.****

Skeptic Premier Andre

* "...this is obviously some strange usage of the word 'safe' that I wasn't previously aware of." - Arthur Dent
** It's the royal "we."
*** Cancel hosting.
**** I just like making footnotes.

Yeah, so as you've probably gathered from my strange and dramatic ramblings, Hosting321's main page has mysteriously vanished. I called their 866 number and left a message - they haven't called me back. I don't know what's going on. I saved a copy of the entire domain to my hard drive just in case something bad happens. If they don't call or email back, we'll dispute the credit card charge and go to the new host.

Here's some little news clippings on what I've been doing lately.
- "The Ur-Quan Masters" is a brilliant game. Go here or emerge uqm on Gentoo.
- Speaking of Gentoo, I've been messing around with it lately. Fluxbox is a cool window manager. A lot faster than KDE, but I still use the KDE utilities even on fluxbox.
- Progress Quest, I'm a level 29 Panda Man Hunter Strangler named Pickelskenol. This game is a brilliant parody of Diablo II and those sorts of MMORPG/non-massive MORPG type games. I love the items and equipment, like my +1 Impressive Holy Magnetic Field or the Sacred Gammel of Hunger I got from an underaged Beef Giant.

I'd like to post more stuff on this blog. There's a good entry under drafts that I'll put up eventually.

Posted by Andre at 04:27 PM | Comments (1)

March 06, 2004

A Flying Dream

One of the most common dream types is the "flying" dream. Sadly, this type also makes the most sense. Nonetheless, I'll tell you about it.

I woke up in the house that I lived in about 5 years ago (same one as the Sean Connery dream) and went downstairs to open up the front door and walk outside. A girl who doesn't look like anyone I know in real life but in the dream I identified as my girlfriend was playing with chalk on the driveway (probably the strangest part of it). I smiled and grabbed on to her with one hand, stuck out the other one, and began running down the driveway. At the end I jumped and, you guessed it, began flying. We flew around for a while, eventually coming to this little farm. I saw a McDonald's next to it so we landed and we were going to get something to eat. But a guy in a horse stable sitting on a bale of hay called out "Eat at Charles'! Don't eat at Crapworld." (I assumed he meant McDonald's as Crapworld.) So we took off again, heading towards Charles'. At that point I woke up.

I only remember my dreams on the weekends, when I have enough sleep. On the weekdays I forget them upon waking.

Posted by Andre at 11:20 AM | Comments (2)

March 01, 2004

More Dreams

Here's some more hallucinatory nonsense from your favorite cynic.

Last night I had two separate segments of my dream, so I'll tell you both.

The first part was a search for some sort of mystical liquid in a little beaker. It was called the Thurian fluid, whatever that means. However, if one touched the beaker, he would be instantly harmed. So the only way to get it was to numb one's hand with a spray-can (like the Windex kind) which in my dream I referred to as morphine. After you sprayed your hand with it, your hand would turn green and then you could lift the Thurian fluid without being harmed. This was all happening in a large warehouse filled with boxes. I found and picked up the fluid but I forgot to use the morphine, so I died.

The next part had me and my dad working for NASA. We were inspectors for a school district on some sort of lunar colony. For some reason, everyone kept referring to my dad as "Gangster." I suppose that was his title. Anyway, we were discussing something with a teacher while the kids were taking a test when a little girl was questioning my dad's authority. So he said, "Quiet, little girl, you lose a point." I suppose as an inspector he could do that. The girl grimaced and began to protest. "You lose another point," my dad said. She started crying. "You lose one more point." She collapsed on the floor. Then the teacher pulled my dad aside and started berating him for taking points. "Now she'll lose 100 points on the test!" the teacher cried. "Oh, I'm sorry! I didn't realize 3 points were actually 100 points lunar measurement!" said my dad. "I shouldn't have done such a dumb thing!" But the teacher vanished, like people do in dreams, and my dad started crying, apologizing profusely as he did so.

So yeah, that made little to no sense.

Posted by Andre at 03:23 PM | Comments (2)