These are quotes from conversations I've had with various people that I found amusing.
Compwizard55: who would check mail saying,
Compwizard55: you know`
Compwizard55: "blah blah blah for FREE, not including $50 cost of payment"
Andrevan: Like Fredrick Douglass
Drixonite: We learned about him only about... 100 times.
Drixonite: Actually, that's an exaggeration.
Drixonite: We learned about him 1010412401 times.
Drixonite: We should grow up and be innovators and stuff. Then we could be mean and heartless and RICH.
Andrevan: I try not to run over people when I can avoid it
Drixonite: f3dz is a... "clean" GTA3 player.
Andrevan: Shut uo
Andrevan: ^p
SPoRtz2k2: why don't you shut uo
Auto response from RISK710: 8œ*710
Andrevan: What kind of away message is that?
RISK710: oo
RISK710: its in japanese
Andrevan: oh, no wonder it doesn't show up
FlyingSandwich4: where are u
Andrevan: sick
FlyingSandwich4: oh kool
Andrevan: not kool, actually, but yeah
FlyingSandwich4: lol yea not kool, it sux lol
Andrevan: I got sick again, believe it or not
Compwizard55: I believe it
Compwizard55: Ripley
Compwizard55: he doesn't believe you
Compwizard55: he's at my house
Andrevan: and so is Queen Elizabeth II
Compwizard55: Yeah
Compwizard55: and King Elizabeth
Andrevan: and Elvis Presley, who is miraculously alive
Andrevan: also Jesus Christ
Compwizard55: Yep
Andrevan: and I think I see George Washington there too
Compwizard55: how
Andrevan: with my mystical John-O-Scope
Drixonite: MY BRUTHAAAA YOU GOT DEEOSSED
Compwizard55: DIS BOY!
Compwizard55: woooooo!
Drixonite: AWWW YEE-UH
Drixonite: Awww ye-uh.
Andrevan: & lt;insert comeback here& gt;
Andrevan: OHHHHHHHHH
Drixonite: WTF
Compwizard55: You shot down boy
Drixonite: *Eats the baby*
Compwizard55: ewwwwwwwww
Drixonite: Tastes like...
Drixonite: chicken.
Andrevan: I am going to suck your brains out of your head with a vacuum
Andrevan: cleaner
suprnatrlman: hoover or Orek
suprnatrlman: orek is better
suprnatrlman: feel the clean
Andrevan: the orek man died
Andrevan: because
Andrevan: I killed him
suprnatrlman: shit
suprnatrlman: that wasn't nice
suprnatrlman: why did you kill the poor old man
suprnatrlman: he was coming over for tea
TheWhiteLight13: sssshhhh, can you hear it. the angel from heaven are telling you... to leave me alone
Andrevan: angels suck
TheWhiteLight13: thank you
Andrevan: your grandmother should buy a gamecube
TheWhiteLight13: nah
TheWhiteLight13: not enough violence
Andrevan: ..
Andrevan: go floss your teeth with steel wool
TheWhiteLight13: wait
TheWhiteLight13: wouldn't that hurt
TheWhiteLight13: a fair amount
Andrevan: yes
*** TheWhiteLight13 signed off.
RTwiz89: wat ya doin
RTwiz89: add mulperatives around to find your answer
Jedispyjed: wait a minute, who the hell is tom??
Andrevan: what do you mean who the hell is Tom?
Jedispyjed: whos he???
Andrevan: A kid... in our grade...
Jedispyjed: he is still in our grade?
Andrevan: uh, yeeeeah
Andrevan: he was in our french class last year
Jedispyjed: oh right, i knew that i swear!!!!
Drixonite: ...Can I talk to your brother?
Drixonite: OR DID HE DIE FROM SOME FREAK SICKNESS FROM AFRICA?!
Drixonite: ...And that is his reason for absence from school
TogeToge5: yep he'll be on soon
Jedispyjed: waaaaaaaassssssssuuuupp
Andrevan: nothing much, waaaaaaaaaaaaassssssssuuuuuuppppp with you
Jedispyjed: nnnnnnnnooooooooooooooothing muuuuch
Andrevan: cccccccccoooooooooooooollllllll
Jedispyjed: yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
[The following is a blurb from a science project website of mine, which employed a technology called Microsoft Agent: Your guide through this site is something called an Agent. Agents can do all sorts of things. There are many different Agents, but the one you had as your guide was a computerized version of myself, Andrew. I created it using a digital camera and a program called CyberExtrude. I used something called a Text-To-Speech Engine to give the Agent a voice, and then used a software title called MASH to program the recordings into my Agent. The finished product was the character you see on this website.]
Drixonite: What'd be really funny is
Drixonite: "Your guide through this site is something called an Agent. Agents can do all sorts of things. Anyone that's not one of us.... is one of them. A potential agent."
Drixonite: THEN TAKE A HUGE PICTURE OF MORPHEUS
Drixonite: XD
Drixonite: XDXDXDDXDXDXD
Drixonite: "Hello Neo."
Compwizard55: 15 frickin' thousand
Compwizard55: that's a lot of dough baby
Compwizard55: Pillsbury would be jealous
Andrevan: With that much dough you could make 15,000 cookies
Compwizard55: And my fat aunt Pat could eat them all
Andrevan: dammit, I outsmarted myself
Andrevan: HA HA HAH AHH AHHAHAH HAJH AH HAAH AHAH H AH!
Andrevan: Hajh?
Andrevan: I am going to go on a Hajj, praise Allah.
Drixonite: ...
Drixonite: Everyone says I'm a retard, but, heh heh. I know they're all joking :)
Drixonite: .......
Drixonite: waaaaaait a second.
Drixonite: Knock knock.
Drixonite: KNOCK KNOCK.
Drixonite: ....
Drixonite: You don't get it, do you?
Andrevan: Who's there?
Drixonite: You idiot
* Drixonite "accidentally" browses to http://www.thong.com
Andrevan: I DIDN'T DO THE POW
Andrevan: ARGHARGHARHG
Drixonite: Hahahahhahhahhaa
Drixonite: I did it.
Drixonite: Guilty as charged.
Compwizard55: Emode.com - Are You A Sex God/Goddess?
Andrevan: Good Heavens! For Outstanding Bedroom Performance, you have been nominated Eros, the God of Love. Master of romance, you're every woman's dream lover
Andrevan: I kind of made up stuff on some of the questions
Compwizard55: I would think so
Andrevan: "How good are you at undoing bras?" "Skillful!"
Drixonite: What do I do
Drixonite: What do I do
Drixonite: What do I do what do I do nowwww
Andrevan: What song is that?
Drixonite: ......
Drixonite: "What Do I Do"
Compwizard55: yo whirlpool
Auto response from Whirlpool713: I Am Away! -Joe
Compwizard55: ya payin' the bills wit your mad hackin' skills, eh.
Compwizard55: Well, you are according to Sugarbabey11
Compwizard55: You're under arrest Joe
Compwizard55: No use in hiding behind that away message.
Compwizard55: We've traced the hacking back to you sir.
Whirlpool713: ha ha
Compwizard55: Twelve high school dropouts changed grades were traced back to YOU.
Compwizard55: This is highly illegal.
Compwizard55: You may have to spend up to 20 years in jail.
*** Whirlpool713 signed off.
E1337PranksterJS: I think it's kicks seriously ass
E1337PranksterJS: er
E1337PranksterJS: serious ass
Compwizard55: YOU can't program
Sesquipedalian X: I can too program...
Sesquipedalian X: just not well enough
Compwizard55: NOT A GAME.
Compwizard55: What is it going to be now?
Compwizard55: A text adventure?
Sesquipedalian X: XD
Compwizard55: ...
Compwizard55: seriously.
Compwizard55: The idea was fine.
Compwizard55: But
Compwizard55: You can't just have ideas.
Compwizard55: They gotta' be realistic
Compwizard55: for example.
Compwizard55: Say I had an idea to make my own battle bot.
Compwizard55: HOW in the hell would I do that?
Compwizard55: remember 6th grade
Compwizard55: everybody was nuts about making their own battlebot
Sesquipedalian X: battle bots
Sesquipedalian X: XD!
Compwizard55: hahaha
Compwizard55: It's a cool idea.
Compwizard55: But it just isn't a regular thing
Compwizard55: you gotta know how shit works
Compwizard55: and,
Compwizard55: when it comes to making a game.
Compwizard55: YOU DON'T
Karthik: hey, andrew, do you think that optimum online will see that I am running an FTP server?
Andrevan: no, the optimum online techs are blind
Karthik: are you sure?/
Andrevan: well, I'm not an opthamologist
Karthik: because i don't want our service to be terminated
Andrevan: they'll call you first
Karthik: how do you know?
Andrevan: it's in the terms of service, where it says "don't run an ftp server"
E1337PranksterJS: hey
Andrevan: hey
E1337PranksterJS: hey
Andrevan: hey
E1337PranksterJS: hey?
Andrevan: hey...
E1337PranksterJS: hey!
Andrevan: hey;
E1337PranksterJS: ...wtf
E1337PranksterJS: WKBT
E1337PranksterJS: Wow! Karate Beef Turtles!
Auto response from SPiNeShAnKrULeS: [In Wingdings font]ok listen, if you really took the time to figure out wut the fuk im sayin then u have serious issues but anyway, uhh....wait there is no anyway.......FUK OFF
Andrevan: "ok listen, if you really took the time to figure out wut the fuk im sayin then u have serious issues but anyway, uhh....wait there is no anyway.......FUK OFF" - very easily done.
SPiNeShAnKrULeS: lol
gogolmogol_25951: & #78;& #111;w a & #119;& #111;rl& #100; & #102;amou& #115; pharma& #99;ist has& #32;c& #114;e& #97;& #116;ed a & #104;erbal& #32;s& #99;& #105;en& #99;e
& #98;& #114;eakthr& #111;u& #103;h. Rev& #111;l& #117;t& #105;& #111;na& #114;y pill that& #32;& #105;s& #32;guaranteed to & #105;n& #99;& #114;& #101;ase
yo& #117;& #114; & #112;& #101;n& #105;s size & #98;y at l& #101;ast & #49;-3& #34; o& #114; & #109;o& #114;& #101;& #46; & #73;& #102; you wou& #108;& #100; like to
have a l& #97;& #114;ger a& #110;d wo& #117;ld like t& #111;& #32;a& #99;com& #112;l& #105;sh & #116;his with& #105;n a & #10;& #115;h& #111;& #114;& #116; & #112;e& #114;iod & #111;& #102; time& #32;this may& #32;be& #32;& #116;& #104;& #101; & #109;ost & #105;mp& #111;rtant & #87;eb p& #97;ge& #32;yo& #117;'ll e& #118;er
v& #105;sit.& #32;(Link: http://& #119;& #119;w.& #97;c& #111;& #109;4u& #46;c& #111;m/yim)http://& #119;& #119;w.& #97;c& #111;& #109;4u& #46;c& #111;m/yim & #32;& #10;
andrethemighty: dude, your spam generator is broken.
*** NickoloyJr signed off.
*** NickoloyJr signed on.
NickoloyJr: jo
Andrevan: j0
NickoloyJr: i keep getting kicked off
Andrevan: nick's gonna lose
NickoloyJr: why you little...!
Andrevan: go away
E1337PranksterJS: no
E1337PranksterJS: you
KamiKaziKid9500: then im gonna od cause the singer of alice in chains is my idol
Jedispyjed: alice in chains singer didnt od
Jedispyjed: he took too much
Jedispyjed: drugs!
Andrevan: are you there?
E1337PranksterJS: no
E1337PranksterJS: ohhhhhh
E1337PranksterJS: who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
E1337PranksterJS: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!
E1337PranksterJS: Absorbent and yellow and porous is he!
Andrevan: I want a girl with a short skirt and a loooooooooooooooooooong
Andrevan: loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong
Andrevan: jacket
E1337PranksterJS: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!
E1337PranksterJS: ...
E1337PranksterJS: you ruined the song, asshole
E1337PranksterJS: vut ze vuck
E1337PranksterJS: that is Mrs. A language
E1337PranksterJS: what deha fuckjs is aiyour probhlem?
Andrevan: your typing
Oopsydaisy3: david wants me to ask you how long is his driveway.
Andrevan: REALLLLLLY long.
Oopsydaisy3: thank you.
bojun99: ic
HoradricGamecube: What does IC stand for?
HoradricGamecube: oh, ic?
bojun99: i c
HoradricGamecube: as in icky?
HoradricGamecube: or yucky?
HoradricGamecube: Or something else?
bojun99: i see
HoradricGamecube: ohhh....
HoradricGamecube: got it
BALTHAZAR: i dun undrstnd
GASPAR: omg neether do i lolololol !!! lmao aol iz romxxoor
Harryfronman: u r in a see in eqypt
Harryfronman: denial
SSSonGohan11: a river harry u dumbass
oblivioraj: i wanted to say that unacceptable behaviour is not tolerated
Andrevan: karthik is british
Andrevan: jolly good
TheAnonymous0n3: time for a whoopin' in chess
TheAnonymous0n3: you game?
TheAnonymous0n3: or you lame?
Andrevan: I'm still like the cat inside the box
Andrevan: both lame and game at the same time
TheAnonymous0n3: I feel like I'm taking CRAZY PILLS.
Andrevan: Me too.
TheAnonymous0n3: you sock
Andrevan: I am not a sock
SmarterChild: What a question! Who knows?
Andrevan: Well, you do.
SmarterChild: Oh yeah?
Andrevan: Yeah.
SmarterChild: Interesting. Very, very interesting.
Andrevan: Fuck.
SmarterChild: Nice mouth.
Andrevan: Thanks.
SmarterChild: No prob!
AnaVirN 82: lol cocaine
Jedispyjed: its not cocaine
Jedispyjed: its nose candy
Auto-response from Andrevan: Hello, you have reached Andrevan Tech Support. At the moment, all representatives are unavailable. Your call is important to us, so please stay on the line.
wowx2000: your representatives are no good
Andrevan: yeah I know they suck
ne0cyborg: ask adam i think he might of done something with permssions
Andrevan: any ideas adam?
NYLABS142: wut r permissions
Drixonite: Sans?
Andrevan: sans = minus
Drixonite: ...
Drixonite: Since when? o_O;
Andrevan: sans - prep. Without.
Drixonite: Sans can suck my balls.
Andrevan: david sans balls
juansilliuns: feddy you mammary gland
andrethemighty: mammary gland isn't an insult
juansilliuns: ...
juansilliuns: it's a BOOB
juansilliuns: that's what I called you
juansilliuns: a BOOB
juansilliuns: GET IT LITTLE GENIUS BOY?
andrethemighty: "feddy you boob"? that sounds like a diss to you? o_o
juansilliuns: ...
juansilliuns: FEDDY
juansilliuns: YOU ARE A BOOB
juansilliuns: ok?
juansilliuns: thanks
andrethemighty: "this"
juansilliuns: ....
juansilliuns: UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhh
juansilliuns: "this"?
andrethemighty: what do you mean by "this"
juansilliuns: you just said that
juansilliuns: you were likeL
juansilliuns: "this"
andrethemighty: no no
andrethemighty: I mean
andrethemighty: when I said that
andrethemighty: I was saying
juansilliuns: ....
juansilliuns: said WHAT
andrethemighty: that
juansilliuns: this or that
andrethemighty: no, I meant THAT by THIS
juansilliuns: ok I got it
andrethemighty: I said
andrethemighty: "this?"
juansilliuns: no.
juansilliuns: you said
juansilliuns: "this"
andrethemighty: yeah
andrethemighty: so
juansilliuns: SO YOU"RE WRONG
juansilliuns: OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH
juansilliuns: OHHHHHHH
juansilliuns: OHHHHHHHHH
juansilliuns: OH!
andrethemighty: what are you doing over there?
juansilliuns: having sex
juansilliuns: don't be jealous of 'this'
Compwizard55: lets make...........
Compwizard55: a f00 fighters website
Compwizard55: on geocities!
Compwizard55: with the little geocities builder thing!
Compwizard55: yay!
Compwizard55: or free webs
Compwizard55: and we could have
Compwizard55: the words:
Compwizard55: "coming soon" there
Compwizard55: for all eternity
Andrevan: I think you're some guy I've never met in norway
TheAnonymous0n3: ...*sob*
Wowx2000: what are you doing up so early?
Andrevan: the alarm was triggered by accident this morning
Wowx2000: HAHA!
Wowx2000: good
Wowx2000: it should be that way all the time
Andrevan: wait, I didn't make myself clear. not the alarm clock, the house security alarm
Wowx2000: oh
Wowx2000: oops
lollilkimlol: i put tape on my global book
TheAnonymous0n3: ok
TheAnonymous0n3: good job
MusicArtist986: Every day, I beat my previous record of consecutive days I've stayed alive.
Andrevan: Congratulations, you're not dead!
MusicArtist986: yeaH!
Andrevan: I want moneyz
Andrevan: $50
Andrevan: to invest in google
Andrevan: or MORE
Drixonite: OMG $50??
Drixonite: YOU CAN GET LIKE
Drixonite: NOTHING WITH THAT
Drixonite: !!!
Andrevan: INVESTMENTSZZLLDD
Andrevan: WHEN GOOGLE IPOS
Andrevan: I WILL OWN IT
Andrevan: WITH MY RETRACTABLE CLAWS
Andrevan: AND ELITE SKILLZ
Drixonite: "God.... help mee......."
Drixonite: JESUS CHRIST
Andrevan: JESUS IS HERE!
Drixonite: SUPERSTAR!
Drixonite: NOW YOU CAN BUY A WHOLE ASSORTMENT OF NEW JESUS CHRIST ACTION FIGURES
Drixonite: WE HAVE ACTION MOVIE JESUS CHRIST
Drixonite: WE HAVE GHETTO CHRIST, "FRUM DA HOOD!"
Drixonite: I'm getting too used to Latin.
Drixonite: MOTHER IS CORNELIA YELL SLAVES AND SLAVEWOMAN NEITHER SLEEP NOR ARISE
Drixonite: And then I can get on the floor and say "God... help mee...." ANd then you can spritz water all over my face.
TheAnonymous0n3: F you.
Andrevan: I'm already in simplest form.
TheAnonymous0n3: Such a simple mind.
Zchangu: Dude
Zchangu: Church rocks
Zchangu: You get to eat free bread man
Zchangu: you know it doesn't get any better than that
Drixonite: YOU FOTOGHOET OTO OO EAT YOUR EBCABBAGES
Drixonite: THAT'S BAD ROUGHAGE
Drixonite: YOU WILL HAVE RECTAL BREACHING TONIGHT
Drixonite: OHHH THERE'LL BE HELL TO PAY
Andrevan: I'm going to go water my cabbages now.
Drixonite: Dude
Drixonite: You'll gain TP
Drixonite: And use weapon skills like the dickens
Drixonite: Then you'll even have time left over to water your cabbages
Andrevan: I am a slaxon.
Drixonite: Anglo-slaxon?
Mighty Cynic: I can't turn bullshit into more bullshit
Mighty Cynic: just pure grass into bullshit
Mighty Cynic: because, that involves having a bull eat its own feces
Drixonite: Question
Drixonite: Did you actually read it
Mighty Cynic: Yes.
Mighty Cynic: Well
Drixonite: WOW
Drixonite: Did you really
Mighty Cynic: Partly.
Drixonite: Ahahaha
Drixonite: I'm gonna log onto sparknotes right now just in case.
Mighty Cynic: I read up to chapter 8 and then said "this is BULLSHIT"
Drixonite: I'll probably end up reading it anyway.
Mighty Cynic: actually, I said "I need to stop reading, and go rinse the eggplants."
Drixonite: Hm
Drixonite: You have eggplants?
Mighty Cynic: No, but I needed to keep some, in order to rinse them.
Mighty Cynic: And I had to get them first.
Drixonite: I see. Interesting predicament...
Drixonite: I'm gonna go to bed
Drixonite: Actually
Drixonite: Lie in my bed and procrastibate over hot pixx of your mom which she gave me after offering me a shrubbery of cabbage.
Drixonite: Ahoy mateyl;.
Drixonite: k tx byhes
Andrevan: can't play kart now, sadly
RaytheMan F: ah
RaytheMan F: why not
Andrevan: writing a big research paper on swarm robotics
Andrevan: sorry!
RaytheMan F: its ok
RaytheMan F: have fun with that shit!
Andrevan: heh not exactly fun but thanks
Andre: they'll need to release Office for Linux pretty soon! :p
Wowx2000: haha
Andre: I predict the fall of windows within 12 years
Wowx2000: windows won't exist then
Wowx2000: there will be another operating system
Wowx2000: by microsoft
Andre: oh
Andre: I think they'll just call it windows 2016
Andre: or whatever
Wowx2000: i want to get office 2003
Andre: not worth the upgrade in my opinion
Wowx2000: not for an upgrade
Wowx2000: full version
Wowx2000: i want to download it if possible :)
Andre: well then, to suprnova!
Wowx2000: hey, i got an idea!
Wowx2000: no
Wowx2000: maybe not
Andre: uh
Wowx2000: that sounds like a quote you would add to your page
Andre: ok